He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
