Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
high people should be assigned attendants
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
