no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I don't think brook has ever known best
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I don't deserve a penis
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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