just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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