this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
