if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
