You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
