I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
