Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
