what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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