Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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