I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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