I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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