Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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