areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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