How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
it glows. i had to have it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
