We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
