We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
