Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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