I got chris browned last night
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
