she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
