if i died would you start the facebook group?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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