she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
