before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
