btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize