I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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