I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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