He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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