The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
