..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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