Having a random hookup so left but love u
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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