hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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