Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I looked at my own cervix.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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