the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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