You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
