I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
