let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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