i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
