Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
