Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
im on a boat
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