you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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