why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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