I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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