Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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