we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
