come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize