im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
