I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
