So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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