I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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