he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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