you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize
