Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
