And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
