I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
