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• (630): View more from Illinois

  is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?

  (815): View more from Illinois

  that's gum

  Fav 42 3340 3229

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Def the best call fo sho

  (361): View more from Texas

  That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.

  Fav 39 5120 983

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• (386): View more from Florida

  after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.

  Fav 60 37150 1601

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro

  Fav 8 4103 1086

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• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?

  Fav 14 1153 5574

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• (360): View more from Washington

  you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.

  Fav 5 2256 714

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife

  (440): View more from Ohio

  My tits sealed my fate

  Fav 9 1101 1093

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.

  Fav 9 1233 800

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive

  Fav 9 2367 996

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (845): View more from New York

  I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.

  Fav 8 1501 726

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.

  Fav 14 556 1624

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  Mother of the Year

  Fav 5 892 534

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL

  Fav 10 638 686

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox

  Fav 3 75 132

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