I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.