Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  tie

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  (401): just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant? (1-401): tie http://tfl.nu/oumz
  Replies (30) Good night (660) Bad night (2422)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen

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  (815): I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen http://tfl.nu/dsay
  Replies (27) Good night (2426) Bad night (2369)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.

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  (303): Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners. http://tfl.nu/xe1g
  Replies (36) Good night (6853) Bad night (1051)
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  (315): View more from New York

  My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.

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  (315): My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best. http://tfl.nu/ofn0
  Replies (32) Good night (6406) Bad night (873)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.

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  (817): New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft. http://tfl.nu/mqah
  Replies (13) Good night (4476) Bad night (1048)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.

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  (414): My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with. http://tfl.nu/07fq
  Replies (158) Good night (2584) Bad night (12551)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes

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  (505): she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes http://tfl.nu/9qtj
  Replies (10) Good night (4564) Bad night (1064)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.

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  (870): Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear. http://tfl.nu/uzj4
  Replies (8) Good night (2876) Bad night (927)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.

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  (480): Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America. http://tfl.nu/1n6p
  Replies (17) Good night (5252) Bad night (674)
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  (+82): View more from South Korea

  I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?

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  (+82): I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already? http://tfl.nu/a77n
  Replies (8) Good night (1573) Bad night (977)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time

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  (617): Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time http://tfl.nu/k7i2
  Replies (5) Good night (1149) Bad night (565)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.

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  (801): My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird. http://tfl.nu/uvgo
  Replies (7) Good night (1266) Bad night (553)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO

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  (609): On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO http://tfl.nu/r9jo
  Replies (26) Good night (819) Bad night (2102)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.

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  (202): No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free. http://tfl.nu/2enk
  Replies (16) Good night (530) Bad night (927)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  excuse me?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.

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  (443): THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS (1-443): excuse me? (443): I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car. http://tfl.nu/t356
  Replies (1) Good night (759) Bad night (390)

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