Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes

(586): View more from Michigan

I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition

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(586): On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes (586): I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition http://tfl.nu/j099

Replies (7) Good night (1624) Bad night (587)
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(503): View more from Oregon

We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?

(509): View more from Washington

Places.

(503): View more from Oregon

Plural? Please tell.

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(503): We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep? (509): Places. (503): Plural? Please tell. http://tfl.nu/23q8

Replies (5) Good night (2688) Bad night (600)
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(703): View more from Virginia

The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."

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(703): The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am." http://tfl.nu/b7uw

Replies (18) Good night (6265) Bad night (674)
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(905): View more from Toronto

Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat

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(905): Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat http://tfl.nu/wtwy

Replies (10) Good night (3283) Bad night (1365)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.

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(608): You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied. http://tfl.nu/sqjw

Replies (10) Good night (4273) Bad night (665)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.

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(208): Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation. http://tfl.nu/cfqm

Replies (20) Good night (4014) Bad night (714)
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(708): View more from Illinois

so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.

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(708): so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened. http://tfl.nu/8b76

Replies (34) Good night (3800) Bad night (1760)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.

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(314): Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late. http://tfl.nu/bosu

Replies (17) Good night (4961) Bad night (1182)
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(305): View more from Florida

It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children

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(305): It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children http://tfl.nu/y5x1

Replies (9) Good night (2900) Bad night (959)
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(415): View more from California

I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.

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(415): I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW. http://tfl.nu/hy3p

Replies (6) Good night (2383) Bad night (983)
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(563): View more from Iowa

My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.

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(563): My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch. http://tfl.nu/5mz7

Replies (16) Good night (1051) Bad night (1558)
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(914): View more from New York

He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?

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(914): He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit? http://tfl.nu/zvq6

Replies (9) Good night (2645) Bad night (629)
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(703): View more from Virginia

See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.

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(703): See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians. http://tfl.nu/t1a5

Replies (8) Good night (2009) Bad night (1097)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.

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(908): But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying. http://tfl.nu/oo2a

Replies (14) Good night (602) Bad night (1316)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over

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(515): Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over http://tfl.nu/s97w

Replies (2) Good night (593) Bad night (404)

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