Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.

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  (323): At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands. http://tfl.nu/8842
  Replies (13) Good night (1530) Bad night (475)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.

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  (952): I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa. http://tfl.nu/1yb9
  Replies (98) Good night (3717) Bad night (734)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.

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  (810): we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect. http://tfl.nu/l0ek
  Replies (58) Good night (9194) Bad night (691)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.

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  (773): well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it. http://tfl.nu/vp9s
  Replies (19) Good night (6048) Bad night (1100)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major

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  (314): In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major http://tfl.nu/y5g5
  Replies (18) Good night (1309) Bad night (5355)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?

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  (413): YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to? http://tfl.nu/cdfm
  Replies (11) Good night (1138) Bad night (4460)
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  (213): View more from California

  just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week

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  (213): just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week http://tfl.nu/o3oo
  Replies (15) Good night (947) Bad night (4007)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.

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  (828): It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack. http://tfl.nu/89f8
  Replies (5) Good night (676) Bad night (1337)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Hows that studying goin for you?

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil

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  (505): Hows that studying goin for you? (1-505): I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil http://tfl.nu/rkj1
  Replies (5) Good night (1840) Bad night (677)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .

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  (203): Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes . http://tfl.nu/go9x
  Replies (10) Good night (1265) Bad night (685)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.

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  (775): If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you. http://tfl.nu/tyav
  Replies (4) Good night (1548) Bad night (629)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.

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  (914): Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life. http://tfl.nu/0z43
  Replies (2) Good night (522) Bad night (1208)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.

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  (785): As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester. http://tfl.nu/qann
  Replies (7) Good night (677) Bad night (385)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.

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  (443): Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers? (301): Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis. http://tfl.nu/hcxa
  Replies (4) Good night (734) Bad night (796)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly

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  (419): Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly http://tfl.nu/y9cp
  Replies (2) Good night (685) Bad night (205)

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