she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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