no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
