Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
