I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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