dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
