I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
