I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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